


Wait, You're a What?

by AllThoseOtherWorlds



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: But I treat it seriously, Clint is nonbinary but it's not a huge part of the story, Discussion of nutrition but not weight, Gen, Humor, Humour, Natasha is a fruit vampire, Team Bonding, They all learn ballroom dance because I said so, it's crack, total crack, yes you heard me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 08:03:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3760798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllThoseOtherWorlds/pseuds/AllThoseOtherWorlds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha's keeping something from Shield - and it's a pretty big secret. She doesn't plan on letting anyone in, but living with the Avengers is starting to soften her resolve. One day, they get a mission that changes everything - her secret is out.</p><p>Or: Natasha's a type of vampire that drinks fruit juice, but has been keeping it a secret for her whole life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimers:** I do not own the show/movie/comics/whatever. Shocking. I make no money on this. I try not to be problematic, but if I did something crappy please let me know so I can fix it!
> 
>  **"Fruit vampires? Really?"** Yes, really. I came up with the idea of fruit vampires when I was a lot younger, and was revisiting some of my old stuff one day when I realized that my character had a similar backstory to Natasha in a lot of ways. And from that, this was born.
> 
>  **Note on food mention:** Because Natasha is nonhuman in this fic and has different dietary requirements, she eats a lot of fruit/smoothies and little else. This concerns some of the others, who worry that she isn't getting enough nutrition. Calories are mentioned once, but weight is never mentioned. If this will bother you, skip the second chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> **Comments are welcome!**

“Natasha!”

“Yes?” She turned to give her attention to Steve. The group leader was generally easy to read, and now was no exception. She knew what was coming, but decided to wait anyway and let him speak.

“Are you okay?” His brow furrowed a little in concern. “You disappeared when we got to medical. Did you get that wrist looked at?”

“She’s fine, cap,” Clint called, dropping out of the ceiling vent ey’d been using to avoid medical emself. Of course, Clint just had a few cuts rather than a sprained wrist, so _ey_ was allowed to get away with it this time. Advantages of being a sniper, she supposed.

“What do you mean, she’s fine?” Steve asked, narrowing his eyes at Clint.

Ey shrugged, glancing at Natasha as though asking for permission to speak. She noddled subtly and didn’t let her smile show.

“’Tasha always gets treated by the same one or two doctors at Shield,” Clint explained. “They’re the only ones she trusts, I guess. Although,” ey said, pointing one finger at her, “I still think you probably have some kind of blackmail or running threat on them if they double-cross you.”

This time she did let her smile show. “You know me so well.” Turning back to Steve, she said, “I left the main medical bay and was treated in a smaller, more private room, so you probably lost track of me when I left. My wrist is sprained, but it should be functional in a matter of weeks.”

He nodded. “Thank you, Natasha. Now, _you_ ,” he rounded on Clint, sounding stern but not angry. Yet. “ _You_ need to actually show up to medical when you get injured.”

Clint whined. “It was only a few scratches! I bandaged them up already, see?” Ey held out eir (well-bandaged, Natasha had to give em that) arm as proof. “I’m fine.”

“You’re fine _this time_ ,” Steve said. “But it’s protocol to report to medical even if you’re not seriously injured.” His gaze softened. “It’s to keep you safe, Clint. What if there’s an internal injury you didn’t pick up on? You’re not a doctor.”

“No, but I’ve bandaged myself up enough times to know when I’m in trouble,” Clint returned, casting eir eyes pleadingly to Natasha for backup. She stared em down.

“Fine,” ey relented. “I’ll go to medical next time. Happy?”

“Yes,” Steve said, smiling. “Now let’s get back to the tower. Tony’s probably waiting for us, and Bruce should have changed back by now.”

Tony was indeed waiting for them at the tower. They’d all moved in with him shortly after the battle, since he’d offered and none of them had a good reason to turn him down. Tony had tried to play it off - _“Can’t pass up an opportunity to show off how rich I am, right?”_ \- but they all knew that he genuinely cared.

Natasha had been more than a little apprehensive at the thought of living in such close quarters with the others. She’d been trained to be very private, and to keep to herself as much as possible. It was hard not to form emotional connections with people when you were living with and fighting alongside them.

More than that, though, it was the first time she’d been living with other people this close in … a long time. She had quarters at Shield, of course, but that was different. It was a big building, and there were lots of people who only barely knew her and mostly just tried to avoid her.

Keeping her secret had been a lot easier there, where she could terrify people away by glaring at them. Here, she knew that wouldn’t last, and someone was bound to find out eventually. She was good at keeping secrets - had to be - but even she needed to let her guard down sometimes. When she was around her friends (for that was what the other Avengers had become) it was harder to pretend.

“What took you so long?” Tony exclaimed, grinning at them from the communal living room as they entered. “None of you were hurt that badly.”

“Clint decided to ditch medical, and I was concerned when I momentarily lost track of Natasha,” Steve explained. “Clint has a few scratches and Natasha has a mildly sprained wrist. I was beat up pretty badly, but most of it’s healed now.”

“Tony has a few nasty looking bruises, but I couldn’t convince him to go to medical,” Bruce appeared at the doorway, tired but de-hulked. “Luckily for him, Shield has given up on wrangling him into submission for the small things.”

“Hey!” Tony swatted at him. “How dare you reveal my weakness? You’re lucky you’re a good cook, Bruce.”

Bruce grinned. “You only keep me around for my food? That’s disappointing. I guess you don’t need to work in the lab with me tomorrow, then, right?”

“Fine,” Tony huffed. “You may have other uses.”

“Well,” Clint said, “I hate to interrupt your bickering, but I’m going to go get cleaned up. From the smell, there’ll be food when we’re done?”

“There should be,” Bruce said. He usually prepared food after their battles, both because he enjoyed cooking and because he was usually hungry. None of them complained, since Bruce was a very good cook.

At least, Natasha assumed he was a good cook. Most human food smelled and tasted repulsive to her. She had to be able to pass for human, though, so she’d long ago (read: in the Red Room) developed the ability to eat enough to seem normal. Usually that ended with her puking later from indigestion, but she’d gotten used to it.

“Don’t want on my account,” she told them. “I’ll be down later if we’re watching a movie.”

“You sure?” Bruce gestured at the kitchen. “There’ll be plenty of food, and Thor’s not due back from Asgard for a few days.”

She smiled, making herself look as reassuring as possible. “I’m sure. I’ll probably eat something in my room, but maybe I’ll come down for a few bites.”

Bruce nodded, somewhat mollified, and she headed up to her floor. At least she’d have an excuse not to eat too much of the human food.

———

“What the - how did you - what-”

Natasha smiled serenely down at Tony, who was currently lying on the mats of the sparring area. He’d put up a decent fight, actually, considering that he was usually in the suit for actual battles. Still, he was obviously no match for her - not that many people were.

She gave him a hand and pulled him up to standing. “Again?” she asked, and allowed herself to smirk a little when he shook his head wildly.

“I think I asked for _lessons_ ,” he told her. “Not _punishment_.”

“Mmm,” she said. “That’s your first mistake.”

“Yeah,” he replied, bent over slightly with one arm hugging his torso. “I got that.”

“Same time tomorrow?” She was curious to see how he would respond to the challenge implicit in her question.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I think you just want an outlet for your frustrations with me. Still pissed I’m on the team?”

His voice was joking, but she was too used to masks to fall for his.

“No,” she told him. “You’re … different than I had predicted.”

He grinned, catching the apology for what it was. “Thanks. In that case I’ll be glad to serve as your punching bag tomorrow.” He paused. “Hey, do you want a smoothie after we shower? I promise I won’t let Dummy make it.”

“Okay,” she agreed, turning to head to the bathrooms. “Thank you.”

She was still upset with herself over her misjudgment of Tony - not because it had upset him, although she knew it had. They were working things out, and he had seemed to accept her apology today. No, she was pissed because she’d _misjudged someone_. Although to be fair, Tony Stark was probably a fairly worthy opponent to lose to.

He was more perceptive than she had originally suspected he was, and much of the narcissism and arrogance was - while a part of him - something he played up to maintain his image. The media loved having someone like him to pick on and play with, and as long as his brilliance kept his tech at the top, it was a smart business move.

She may have made a mistake in her initial evaluation of him, but she was certainly not going to do so again. She needed to remember not to underestimate him - clearly he’d noticed that she was more likely to eat smoothies than the food Bruce (and sometimes Steve, when he felt like it) made.

She had to be more careful.

_Unless,_ part of her whispered, _you tell them. You trust them with your life, so why not this?_

Trusting them with her life was easy - no matter how much she trusted them with it, she could always trust herself more. Trusting them with something they could use to hurt her? _That_ was difficult.

She hadn’t even let Shield know, other than the two doctors, and _they_ were only let in on it because someone would have eventually found out whenever she needed to be treated for something. It was difficult to hide the fact that her blood was both nonhuman and a general antitoxin, after all. Shield would have discovered it, and she would be - what? Used for experiments? Dissected? She didn’t want to know. At the very least, there would be a hell of a lot of paperwork.

It was easier to let a few doctors in on it, with the provision that they keep it absolutely secret. She knew they would do as she asked - if they didn’t, there would be _consequences_ , and most people knew not to test the Black Widow when she was threatening them.

And with the Red Room dead, those doctors were the only people who knew she was a fruit vampire - possibly the only humans who knew of her kind at all, considering how much they hid and how rare they were to begin with - and she planned to keep it that way.

At least, she planned to keep it that way for now. If it became necessary, or if the team somehow proved that they could be trusted, she might reconsider.

She tried not to think too hard about what that meant for her, that she was considering putting her trust in these people, these people that she’d known for only a matter of months. It was certainly something new.

She was still trying to get used to the idea that new didn’t always mean _threat_.


	2. Chapter 2

Clint had known Natasha for a long time, and ey was pretty sure ey was one of her oldest friends. Part of the reason they’d been friends for so long was the acceptance they were willing to give each other - they could talk, but they didn’t have to. There was no pressure to act normal, to be whatever anyone expected of them. If Clint wanted to hide in the ceiling vents for the entire day and touch up eir surveillance skills, Natasha slipped em some food every once and a while and otherwise left em to it. If Natasha decided to spend the whole day practicing a British accent, Clint resisted the urge to make Doctor Who references and instead actually watched the show with her to give her something to practice from.

Okay, maybe the last example had been somewhat selfishly-motivated, but the point remained. They accepted each other. Ey knew that if she had a problem that she couldn’t deal with alone, she’d trust em with it. Otherwise, ey had to accept that she had it under control.

That was a lot easier when there weren’t other people living with them.

“All I’m saying,” Bruce said, calm and concerned, “is that I don’t think she’s getting enough of some of the nutrients she needs. I almost never see her eat anything other than fruit salads and smoothies. It seems odd to me - she’s pretty careful about her health with everything else.”

“How do you know she’s not just eating in her room?” Clint asked. “She’s always eaten like this, and I don’t think it’s ever affected her performance.”

“I don’t know,” Bruce said. “I just brought it up because it was concerning me.”

“Well,” Clint said, “I think it’s just how she eats. She eats a ton of fruit, so there’s no way she’s not getting enough calories. And she’s certainly capable of beating people up.” Ey winced in recollection of their last sparring match. The only thing that saved eir ego was the knowledge that the tables would be turned if it was an archery contest or something.

“That’s true,” Bruce agreed, “but if it becomes a problem, I’m going to talk to her.”

“Okay,” Clint agreed. After all, ey wanted Natasha to be safe and healthy just as much as the rest of them did. Ey just didn’t think there was a problem - of course, ey wasn’t exactly well-versed in nutrition. “In the meantime,” ey continued, “if you’re looking for someone to pick on, why don’t you go after Tony? I don’t think he’s slept in 24 hours.”

“True. Most people can’t go that long without sleep and still function like he does,” Bruce said. “I wonder if there’s some abnormality in his biology that would explain it…”

Clint watched him wander off down to the labs, presumably to find Tony and harass him until he got blood samples or something. Ey dropped down from the cabinet ey’d been perched on and went to find Natasha. Even though ey figured she was probably fine, it was only fair to let her know that people were worried - if she wasn’t aware already.

———

“’Tasha?” Clint knocked on the covering she’d put up over the ceiling vent (presumably to keep em from spying on her). “You there?”

“Coming,” she said, and a few moments later the covering was removed and she stepped back, letting em slip down onto the floor before replacing it. “Did you have a purpose in being here, or are you just bored?”

“I’m offended,” Clint said. “I’m never bored. Well, I am, but when I’m bored I go and throw spitballs at the new Shield recruits.”

She raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah, that tends to piss Coulson off,” ey admitted. “They’ve never actually told me to stop though. I think it gives the newbies some important training.”

“I’m sure,” she said dryly. “So if you could be off using Shield recruits for target practice, what are you doing here?”

Ey sighed. “Bruce was concerned about you. I told him you were fine, but I figured it was best to let you know.”

“Concerned?” She didn’t sound surprised, but he knew ‘Tasha liked to make people tell the story, even if she already knew it.

“Yeah,” ey told her. “About your eating habits or something. Said he didn’t think you were getting enough protein.”

“Is it because I like smoothies?” she rolled her eyes. “Did you tell him about the miracles of protein powder?”

“Uh, no,” ey shook his head. “I could go tell him now? Except I think he’s off trying to study Tony. Something about his apparent immunity to sleep deprivation.”

“No, don’t tell him,” she said. “I want to see how long he’ll last before he figures it out himself.”

Clint laughed. “I give him a week if he doesn’t bring it up with Tony, and less than a day if he does. Tony drinks smoothies all the time - he’ll figure it out no problem.”

“Agreed,” she said.

“It’s funny how protective he is,” Clint mused. “I’d have pegged that as Steve.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me if Steve is the one who brought it up with Bruce,” ‘Tasha said. “But the protective streak? That’s all Banner. And the Hulk.”

“True,” Clint said. “Well, this was fun, but I think I’m going to go shoot little balls of paper at young and impressionable Shield agents,” ey said, stretching. “See you later.”

Ey pried the covering back off the vent and pulled emself up into it in one smooth motion, twisting at the top to face ‘Tasha. “Have fun with the -” ey scoured the room to see what she’d probably been doing. “Why are you reading Norse mythology? Isn’t that why we have Thor?”

She shrugged. “I want to see how much of it matches up.”

“Well, let me know how it goes,” ey said, vanishing into the air ducts.

Ey wondered how long it was going to be at Shield before Coulson or Fury found em - oddly enough, they seemed to be the only ones who ever did. Except for that one time with Maria Hill, who had been pissed off enough that ey actively avoided her when ey was _‘skulking around and being a general menace to the_ useful _employees,_ _’_ as she’d so nicely put it.

It was going to be a good day.

______

In the end, it took Bruce two and a half days to think of the protein powder (with help from Tony) and reassure Steve. Bruce was embarrassed, Steve was intrigued, and Thor wasn’t sure what a ‘smoothie’ was - although once they gave him one he declared it to be “a most compelling beverage”.

Natasha took care after that to make it look like she was adding protein powder to the smoothies she drank. At least now they’d stopped acting concerned about her eating habits.

She’d call it a win.


	3. Chapter 3

Natasha stared at the fruit bowl carefully, examining each piece from afar before selecting a medium-sized orange and biting into it. She was on her floor, and the screens were up over the vents, so she knew she was alone and it was safe to let her fangs fold down and sink into the fruit, hollow tubes running through them to draw the juice up and into her mouth.

One of the first things she’d done once free of the Red Room was learn as much about her own kind as possible. There wasn’t much on fruit vampires out there, of course, but there was lots of information on other creatures. Even if they weren’t actually related to snakes or insects, she knew that her own fangs shared some qualities with the retractable fangs of some snakes, and with the proboscises butterflies used. She thought it was fitting, considering her own method of getting information - appear to be as beautiful and innocuous as a butterfly, and then strike quickly and efficiently like a snake.

All metaphors aside, however, she was immensely grateful that her fangs retracted. The Red Room had done enough to her, changing her in ways she still couldn’t completely catalog, and she didn’t want to know what they would have done if her fangs had been noticeable.

They’d known what she was, of course. They were one of the reasons her kind were so rare - after all, who wouldn’t want to capture and experiment on creatures whose blood was an antitoxin? She had only survived by virtue of being young and seemingly useful. She didn’t know how many others were out there; after the Red Room, most of them were probably in hiding.

She didn’t want to think of the alternative.

After a few minutes, she threw the orange husk - now drained - into the compost and returned her attention to the fruit bowl. This time she selected a mango, and had just pierced its tough skin with her fangs when she heard a knock on the door.

Sighing, she put down the fruit,  positioning it in such a way that the holes from her fangs were invisible, and opened the door.

“Greetings, Lady Natasha,” Thor said, smiling jovially. “Tony is attempting to teach the Captain a style of Midgardian dance known as “the Waltz”. He said you would find it amusing to watch. Since you have requested Jarvis’ systems stay out of your quarters, he suggested I fetch you.”

Natasha smiled. “Thank you, Thor. I’ll be right down.”

Thor nodded and left, and Natasha decided that they could wait the few minutes it would take her to finish the mango.

———

“How do you know how to waltz?” Clint asked, perched on top of a bookshelf in the common area. “I pictured you as more of a modern guy, Stark.”

Tony laughed. “A lot of important events and stuff are held at formal dances. The people are boring and stiff, but the dancing’s not so bad if you’re good at it.”

He returned his attention to Steve, who was awkwardly following Tony’s leads, clearly unsure where to put his feet and hands.

“You, cap, need more practice.”

“Well, it might help if you’d actually shown me what to do _before_ trying to dance with me,” Steve told him, sarcasm evident in his voice.

“Why the dance lessons, anyway?” Bruce asked.

“He wants me to go to events with him and fight off the boring people,” Steve said, gaze fixed intently on his feet as he tried to mirror Tony’s steps. “I think he’s hoping I’ll fall and distract everyone so he can leave unnoticed.”

“If he were any good, he’d be able to leave unnoticed without you as a distraction,” Natasha noted. “Although I suppose this method would be more entertaining.”

“I don’t need him as a distraction,” Tony told them. “These things are just more fun with people I know, and sometimes Pep’s too busy to come.” He let go of Steve’s arms and stepped back. “Yeah, I give. We’ll start from the beginning.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “ _Thank you._ ”

“No getting snippy with me,” Tony said, shaking his head. “You’re Captain America!”

“Yes, and you’re Iron Man,” Steve said. “Your point?”

The lessons continued for a while, and half an hour later Steve had learned enough to do the basic and a few simple moves with Tony. He learned fast, Natasha noted. It was probably a mixture of the serum, his own ability to learn rapidly, and his preexisting skill on the battlefield. Whatever the case, he seemed to be enjoying himself.

“Hey, you guys want to learn?” Tony asked. “Cap here seems ready to dance with someone other than me.”

“’Tasha and I already know how,” Clint said idly, dropping elegantly down from his perch. “We had to learn for an assignment once.”

“I would be delighted to learn this style of dance,” Thor announced, getting up from his chair. “How do I begin?”

“I suppose I’ll join too,” Bruce said. “It looks soothing.”

Clint cocked eir head at Natasha. “Do you want to help teach him, or are you going to let me do it alone?”

She considered the question. She knew Clint didn’t actually care whether or not ey had help in teaching Thor to dance - and if ey did need help, Tony was more than capable. No, ey was offering her a way to participate, to join in  the activities of the group.

Did she want to join? She had been trying to keep to herself, but she knew that wasn’t going to last. Already she had grown closer with her teammates, and she had found (much to her surprise) that she enjoyed it. It seemed dangerous, but it was very tempting.

Well, teaching them how to dance would probably help increase their coordination on the battlefield. She could call it a training exercise.

“I’ll help,” she decided, rising to her feet and approaching the group. “Clint and I will demonstrate, first. I’ll lead.”

———

Tony approached Natasha later that evening, when she was reading in the common area. “Hey, Natasha,” he said, clearly trying to sound casual. “Why don’t you let Jarvis monitor your vitals, or your floor?”

She stared at him evenly. “I like my privacy. Is there a particular reason he needs access?”

Tony shifted a little, and when he spoke his voice was just a little too bright.

“No, ‘course not,” he reassured her. “Just wondering.Wouldn’t want Jarvis’ feelings to get hurt.”

“I’m sure Jarvis understands,” Natasha said, not breaking eye contact with Tony.

He sighed and threw up his hands. “ _Fine,_ fine. I see why you’re a world-class interrogator. I’m just worried, okay? What if something happens, and we don’t know and neither does Jarvis? He keeps us safe, but he can’t do that if he doesn’t know what’s going on.”

Natasha almost smiled, but settled for a subtle softening of her eyes instead. It was important to maintain at least _some_ level of subtlety. She considered his words carefully, deciding in a matter of moments that he was in fact telling the truth. Worse, he had a point. She was an amazing assassin, but there were still things which could take her down without alerting the rest of them.

“Okay,” she relented. “I’ll give Jarvis audio but no visual. Is that an acceptable compromise?”

“Thank you, Ms. Romanoff,” Jarvis said, where he had apparently been listening to their conversation. Natasha wasn’t sure how Jarvis’ attention worked - was he listening to everything all at once, or did he focus on specific things like humans did? She didn’t know.

Tony nodded, not bothering to hide his relief. “Yeah,” he said, “that’s good. Thanks.” He stood up, stretching. “Well, I should probably sleep, or you guys’ll scold me in the morning, which I don’t need because that’s what Jarvis is for.”

“Glad to help, Sir,” the AI said dryly. “Although I would remind you that you did program me to ensure you slept and ate, among other things.”

“Yeah, well,” Tony said, stepping into the elevator to presumably go up to his own floor. His sentence was cut off as the elevator door closed, but Natasha presumed it was just more banter with Jarvis.

“Jarvis?” Natasha asked, already thinking about what it would mean that the AI had access to her room’s audio.

“Yes, Ms. Romanoff?”

“I’d like to set up some codewords to use in case of emergencies,” she said. “Also, warn me if anyone is approaching my room and I’m there?”

“Of course,” Jarvis said. “Although I must let you know that Mx. Barton tends to travel by vent, and is harder to detect when ey does so.”

She smiled. “Yeah, ey does that. Thanks, Jarvis.” She paused. “I’m… sorry I didn’t give you audio access earlier. It’s not really that I don’t trust _you_ , I just-”

“It is okay, Ms. Romanoff,” Jarvis said. “It does not seem like you have had many people you can trust.”

She didn’t know how Jarvis knew that about her, but it alarmed her less than it probably should have. Tony had designed him, so Jarvis probably knew everything about all of them, and was just tactful enough to not say anything unless it was relevant. He probably knew more about them than Tony did.

“Call me Natasha,” she said. “Ms. Romanoff feels like I’m on-duty.”

“Of course, Natasha,’ Jarvis said. “It is getting late now. Should you not be asleep soon?”

“Soon,” she said, picking up the book she’d been reading before Tony interrupted. “I’ll just finish this chapter, first.”

“Of course,” he said, and she chose to ignore the skepticism clear in his voice.

Just one chapter. Really.


	4. Chapter 4

“We have a mission for you,” Coulson said when the group entered the briefing room.

“Gee, never would have guessed,” Tony drawled. “I thought we were just here for texting and scones.”

“I didn’t know you watched Doctor Who,” Clint said. “You should watch it with Coulson and I sometime.”

Tony turned his eager gaze to em. “Of _course_ I watch it,” he said. “I’m still trying to work out the details, but give me a few years and I’ll have a working TARDIS.”

“Really?” Clint asked. “That’s so-”

“ _Okay, people,_ ” Fury said, sweeping into the room dramatically, with his dramatic coat and his dramatic glare and his dramatic everything. Natasha really felt that Fury overdid it a little. And considering the people she lived with, that was saying something

Still, it was effective. The side discussions settled down, and everyone turned their focus to the Director.

“The mission is to rescue a group of people who have been captured by what we believe is an offshoot of the Red Room,” Fury said, cutting straight to the chase. It was one of the things Natasha appreciated about him, but when she heard his words she felt her blood run cold.

“The Red Room?” she asked, unable to stop herself. “They’re gone. They’re dead. _I made sure of it._ _”_

“Apparently at least one person survived,” Fury told her. “That’s all it would have taken to create a new organization, and that seems to be what they’ve done. We believe that the founder had already been in hiding when the Red Room was taken down, possibly part of a contingency plan for that very situation.” His voice softened just a touch. “None of us had a way to know, agent.”

She growled softly to herself, but nodded for him continue the briefing.

“This group - calls itself the Bloodbath - has been using these prisoners for experiments of some kind. The prisoners may be mutants, but we have no way of knowing. Our intel suggests that the Bloodbath is fond of poison in gases and on their weapons, so they’ll probably be using blades or arrows.” He turned to Tony. “Stark, your suit filters air, right?”

“Yeah,” Tony said, seeing where he was going. “It should filter out any poisons.”

“Good. We’ll have masks for the rest of the team, but the only antidote we have to the poison takes a while to work, so if you’re hit with something, pull back. Your mission is to rescue the prisoners and get as much intel on this group as you can while you’re there. Any questions?”

He surveyed the team, but nobody spoke. Finally, he nodded. “Good. Get to it.”

As the others filed out Natasha held herself back. Fury noticed, and waited for the others to leave before turning to her.

“Well, agent?” he asked. “Any questions?”

“No, sir,” she said. “Thank you. For sending me on this mission.” She swallowed. “I will take them down.”

“I know, Agent,” he said. “That’s why you’re going.”

She nodded, and left to go find her team.

———

The base was just where Shield had predicted, and there were indeed poison grenades being thrown at them. She ducked one, and fell into a roll to avoid the man trying to stab her with what was presumably a poisoned blade. He didn’t survive the attempt.

“I’m almost in!” Stark said excitedly into the comms. “The lock shouldn’t last much longer.”

“Wish we could’ve broken down the door,” Clint muttered into eir comm. “Would’ve been faster.”

“Hulk smash!”

“No, Hulk, we tried that,” Tony said patiently.

“Indeed,” Thor commented. “It did not work. What is that door made of, Man of Iron? I did not believe Midgardian metals were that hardy.”

“I don’t know. Yet.” Tony admitted, sounding as though it physically pained him to say it. Natasha suppressed a laugh before returning her attention to the man currently trying and failing to kill her.

“Keep the chatter down on the comms,” Steve told them.

Nobody could see him, but everyone could _feel_ Tony rolling his eyes. “As you say, Cap- Oh! We’re in.”

“Regroup at the door,” Steve commanded, and Natasha finished electrocuting her current opponent and joined them there.

“I think we got all of them on the outside,” Steve said. “Anyone left must be guarding the prisoners.”

“Or important intel,” Tony said. “We don’t know which is the priority.”

“Right,” Steve said. “Our priority is to get the prisoners, but we also need to find any information we can. Iron Man, you and Thor go looking for anything useful. The rest of you come with me, and find the prisoners.”

Tony and Thor nodded and split from the others. Natasha nodded at Steve’s choice - Tony would obviously be better at hacking into any tech they found, and Thor was a heavy enough hitter to keep Tony safe while they did it, without breaking anything like Hulk was apt to do. Hulk was actually pretty good at not hurting people, but technology was a different matter.

With two of their number gone, the rest of the group continued through the complex, following the schematics Shield had given them. Steve led, with Hulk trailing behind like a guard dog, growling at anything that caught his eye and looking at Steve hopefully. Every time Steve shook his head he visible drooped, like an abandoned puppy. Natasha decided to remember the look on his face for later, to tell Bruce.

She was very deliberately not thinking about the mission - she’d already analyzed it as much as she could, and she knew what they were probably heading into. There was no other way it could add up - poison, possible mutants, an offshoot of the Red room - it had to be others like her.

She didn’t know what to do with that.

It wasn’t going to interfere with anything. She wouldn’t let it. She knew what the mission was, and how to complete it, and that was what mattered. She was a professional, and she could do this. If the others found out, she would live with it.

She had to.

———

“Hey, I think this is it!” Tony knelt down and pried the front panel off of a device on the wall. “I should be able to access their systems from here.”

“Good,” Thor said, not looking away from the door where he was keeping watch. “I hear the enemy approaching, but I can hold them off long enough for you to get the information.”

“Thanks,” Tony said absently, already interfacing between the suit and the console (it was part of the newest upgrade, since Shield tended to assume he could hack into anything, regardless of what he was doing at the time. In fairness, they were right.)

A few minutes and several downed foes later, they were headed down the hallway, data streaming through the HUD.

“This is weird,” he commented, reading the files absently as they walked. “It looks like the people they’re experimenting on aren’t mutants after all. They’re some other species.”

“Are they from one of the other realms?”

“I don’t know. Here, they call them ‘fruit vampires’. Fruit vampires? Really?”

“I know of no such creature,” Thor said. “But many species have many names.”

“We can ask them when we rescue them,” Tony said. “For now, I think I see some guards up ahead.”

———

Taking care of the guards was surprisingly easy, Natasha noted. Clearly, this offshoot was nowhere near as advanced as the Red Room - their soldiers sucked. It was only a matter of minutes before they were unlocking and opening the (previously guarded) door and finding themselves face to face with the ex-prisoners.

The very suspicious ex-prisoners.

“Who are you?” one of them demanded. “What do you want with us?” The woman had dark skin and black hair, and was bruised and battered enough that it was obvious she’d put up a fight. Although she clearly hadn’t won, Natasha admired the effort.

“We’re with Shield,” Steve said. “We won’t hurt you.”

“How do we know we can trust you?” The woman was clearly suspicious, and Natasha couldn’t really blame her.

Still, they needed her cooperation, judging from the way the other prisoners were deferring to her.

“You can trust us,” she said, “because we’re the ones who killed the guard and are letting you go.”

“You’re letting us go?” The woman hesitated. “Just like that?”

Natasha tried to look nonthreatening. “Just like that.” She looked around. “Are any of your people injured?”

The woman pressed her lips together for a moment, as though deciding whether or not to answer. Eventually, though, she did.

“Dania is hurt,” she said at last. “We think she broke something.”

Steve turned to the Hulk. “Can we have Bruce back now? Please?”

The Hulk growled sulkily - for a giant green rage monster, he was surprisingly good at sulking - but started to shrink back down into Bruce, who was thankfully still clothed at least in shorts thanks to one of Tony’s new inventions. Natasha didn’t think it would put the prisoners at ease if one of the closest things they had to a doctor was naked while he examined them.

Bruce looked around groggily for a few seconds before remembering the situation. “Is anyone hurt? I’m not a medical doctor, but I may be of some use.”

Wordlessly, the apparent leader pointed to Dania. Bruce hurried over, kneeling down next to the girl - paler even than her light complexion should warrant - and talking softly to her.

“So,” Clint said, eying the leader. “What’s your name? I’m Clint.”

“Tana,” the woman said. “I’m Tana.”

“Good to meet you, Tana.” Steve held out his hand. “I’m Steve. This is Natasha, and that’s Bruce.”

“And I’m Tony, and  that’s Thor,” Tony said, walking up to them in the suit. “I got the info, Cap. Looks like they were indeed an offshoot of the Red Room, though where their skills went is anybody’s guess. And these lovely folks -” he broke off to gesture at the prisoners, who were looking… Well, they were looking like most people who had just met Tony Stark: confused and slightly irritated.

“What about us?” The note of suspicion was back in Tana’s voice.

“Shield thought you guys might have been mutants or something,” Tony told them. “Turns out they’re wrong, which is really not all that surprising. Seriously, a top-secret government agency like that really needs to get it’s crap together.”

Natasha thought she should probably correct Tony, but she didn’t bother. He had a point, after all - they still hadn’t realized _she_ wasn’t human.

Clint didn’t say anything either, but Natasha suspected that was because ey was too busy examining eir arrows for possible breaks.

“What did you find out?” Bruce asked, still examining Dania. “If there’s anything in those files you hacked that could be of use here, let me know.”

“Well, first of all is that they’re not human - not even a variation, like mutants are,” Tony said, looking at Tana curiously. “Care to elaborate for everyone?”

She glared at him and raised one eyebrow.

“Right, fine,” he said. “We won’t tell Shield.”

“Uh, Tony,” Steve interjected, “We’re required to tell Shield. Technically this mission is for them.”

Tony scoffed, and was probably about to say something, but Natasha spoke up before he did.

“No, I agree with Tony. We don’t tell Shield everything.”

The others turned to look at her in surprise, including Clint, who was eyeing her speculatively.

She ignored them and turned to Tana. “We won’t let Shield find out what you are,” she reassured her. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“Shield is government, right?” Tana asked. “They get into everything. You can’t keep it a secret forever.”

She took a deep breath to steady herself before responding. It was now or never, and telling them her secret would certainly help Tana and the others trust them. She knew, logically, that she could trust her team - she’d been trusting them with her life for a while now. Trusting them with this was harder, but she knew she could do it.

“I can,” she said, looking at Tana intently. “I’ve been keeping it this long.”

“Wait, what?” Tony asked, accompanied by similar sentiments from the rest of the group (albeit more quietly, because they weren’t Tony).

Tana just watched her, eyes calmly evaluative as she weighed Natasha’s words and the meaning within them.

“Okay,” she said at last. “I will take you at your word. I hope for both our sakes you are right.”

“I am,” Natasha assured her. She turned back to the others, firmly ignoring their confusion. They could sort it all out later, but for now they still had work to do. “Let’s get out of here,” she said. “We need to get Tana and her people to safety, and then report back to Shield.” She glanced at Tana again. “Shield is going to want to do a medical checkup on you. I can … pull some strings. They won’t find anything out of the ordinary.”

Tana nodded her thanks, and Clint gaped at her.

“ _Pull some strings?_ Nat, just how much experience do you have with lying to Shield medical?”

She smirked. “About as much as you have with avoiding it.”

Ey looked suitably chastised, and followed her and the others as they left the room, ex-prisoners in tow.


	5. Chapter 5

“So, Nat,” Clint said, when they got back to the tower. “You already knew about these folks? Or their species?”

She caught the accusation in eir eye and sighed. She’d known this would be tough on em, when ey finally found out - knowing that she’d hid it from em all this time. Ey’d deal with it, of course - ey’d probably hidden things from her, too - but eir reaction was understandable and predictable.

“I did,” she said, looking at em and the other Avengers.

“How?” Steve asked, apparently deciding that as the team leader, it was his responsibility to direct this discussion. Natasha somehow doubted that he could overpower Clint and Tony in the conversation, but she knew he’d try. “Is there anything relevant that we should know?” What are they?”

She held up a hand. “Slow down, Steve.” Turning to Tony, she asked, “what did you find out from the files?”

He waved a hand. “Not too much - I don’t know how much _they_ knew, to be honest. Apparently their blood is an antitoxin, which explains why they wanted them. They were calling them “fruit vampires” or something equally ridiculous, so I’d guess they eat mostly fruit-” He stopped suddenly and narrowed his eyes at her. “Wait a minute. Romanov, are you-”

She cut him off. “Yes.” She might have guessed Tony would figure it out first. He was scientific enough to figure something like that out, and nosy enough to think of it.

He gaped at her. “Really? Does Shield know? You kept it from them, didn’t you!” he clapped his hands together and grinned. “Oh, this is awesome.”

“Um,” Bruce interjected before she could reply, glancing between the two of them quizzically. “What are you two talking about?”

“Yeah,” Clint chimed in. “Not that watching you two go at it isn’t fun and all, but could you please clarify for the non-telepathic amongst us?”

She nodded, a bit guiltily - not that she’d let them see that. She knew how much Clint hated being left out of stuff.

“Of course,” she told them. She didn’t say anything more though - what could she say? How should she phrase it? Each option would prime them a little differently, so how did she want them to respond?

“Natasha’s not human,” Tony said, casting her an apologetic look. She shrugged. At least it was out now.

“Obviously,” Clint snorted.

“No, literally,” she said.

Eir eyes widened and ey stared at her for a few moments, processing her words.

Steve broke the silence. “So, are you one of those - what was it, fruit vampires?”

She nodded.

“That explains the smoothies, I guess,” Bruce said. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine.” It had actually been nice to have somebody concerned about her like that. It was good to know that the other Avengers cared.

“I have not heard of this Midgardian species,” Thor said. “I did not realize that humans shared their cities with other species. I would be very much interested in learning more.”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” Natasha told him, suppressing a smile at Thor’s earnest words. “I’ll explain later.”

Thor nodded, pleased, and Tony clapped his hands together to get everyone’s attention again.

“So,” Tony said. “Now that everyone’s all caught up, how’d you keep it from Shield?”

“Shield doesn’t know?” Clint looked stunned.

She allowed herself a smile. “Shield,” she said, “is not actually all that hard to fool. I let a doctor or two in on it, and threatened their safety if they didn’t keep it to themselves.”

“We won’t tell them either,” Steve said earnestly (Although honestly, he said everything earnestly).

“I know,” she said, looking at the group assembled before her. “I believe you.”

———

Clint was the first one to seek her out after the reveal. She smiled when ey knocked on her door - that ey was coming through the door at all meant that ey was taking extra pains to be polite. She opened the door for em, allowing the smile to stay on her face.

“I was expecting you sometime around now,” she told em. “Good to see you didn’t disappoint.”

“Do I ever?” ey asked, waltzing into the room and flopping down on a couch.

“I suppose not,” she said, sitting down across from em. “You never miss, right?”

“Not usually,” ey said. “I guess I missed the mark a bit with you, though. I gotta admit that even I didn’t see this one coming.”

“You mad?” she hoped ey wasn’t _too_ pissed. She’d known Clint longer than the other Avengers, and eir opinion was the most important to her.

“I was,” ey admitted. “Mostly because I was hurt that you hadn’t told me, even after everything.”

She nodded. She’d expected that - not that it didn’t still hurt.

“But,” ey said. “I don’t think I’m mad anymore.”

She glanced at him, allowing surprise to show in her face to save her from having to speak.

Ey understood what she hadn’t asked. “It was your secret to tell,” ey said, shrugging. “We all have them, and unless it involves me, what right do I have to know? If I had needed to know, I would have. I trust you.”

She was silent for a moment, basking in the relief of knowing ey was okay with this. She hadn’t allowed herself the hope of believing ey wouldn’t be angry, and now it felt like the sun had come out after a storm.

When she found her voice again she swallowed and gave em a wide, genuine smile. “Thank you,” she said. “That means a lot to me. For what it’s worth, I trust you, too.”

“I know,” ey said, holding her gaze for a moment before shaking emself and grinning, “So, fruit vampire, huh? Can you turn into a bat or something else cool like that?”

She threw a pillow at em, and they both laughed.

———

After that, things were pretty much back to normal - or at least, as normal as they ever were for them. Clint built “secret” lairs in the vents, Tony designed a bot to nag Thor when he put Mjolnir somewhere inconvenient, and Bruce introduced Steve to modern social justice issues - much to the media’s dismay.

All in all, things were pretty good.

Of course, Tony and Bruce had started nagging her for blood samples almost immediately, and Clint had started leaving vampire novels around the tower suspiciously, but she figured that was only to be expected. She’d told Thor what she knew of her people (not much, admittedly), and had informed Steve of anything he might need to know about her on missions. Fury still didn’t know, and she planned to keep it that way.

And, best of all, she didn’t have to hide anymore.

“I still don’t know how you do that,” Clint said, fascinated.

She finished sucking the juice from the orange and smiled at em, letting her fangs show for a moment before retracting them.

“That’s a lot less scary now that we know you can’t actually drink blood,” Tony commented. She glared at him playfully and he quickly backtracked. “Not that you aren’t still scary! We were terrified of you even _before_ we knew you were some weird vampire offshoot.”

She smiled. “That’s better.”

“We have movie night tonight,” Steve said. “Whose turn is it to pick?”

“It’s Clint’s turn,” Bruce said. “And before you say it, _no_ , I am _not_ watching Twilight. Not unless you want to deal with the Other Guy instead.”

“Twilight?” Thor asked. “It is a pleasant time, is it not? I find the stars of this realm most enchanting, when they are visible.”

“It’s a movie,” Clint told him. “A _crappy_ movie,” ey added, shooting a look at Bruce. “I do have better taste than that. How about we watch Interview with the Vampire?”

“One day you’ll get bored of those jokes, you know,” Natasha told him.

Ey grinned. “Probably, but I think this is payback for all the times you made us watch movies about birds to poke fun at me.”

“Come on,” she scoffed. “You know you enjoyed them.”

“I admit nothing,” ey said, but she could see em smile.


End file.
